my dog was supposed to be a police dog but he failed the training for it because he was too much of a wimp. the trainers said that when he was supposed to be attacking dummies he’d run up to them and roll over and wag his tail and they also said he was the worst failure they’d ever seen
i want a bf :/
and by bf i mean Benjamin Franklin as in a 100 dollar bill
"Honey, I’m leaving you for Poussey”
Falling in love with yourself first doesn’t make you vain or selfish, it makes you indestructible.
if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember that one time i had to fly with my cello so we bought it a seat
and it got upgraded to first class